Page 26 - PBCMarch2014

26 Pickwick Bicycle Club Magazine Volume 11 No.1 March 2014

A recently found extract from Monty Python’s “ Life of Brian”

of a conversation between Roman Legionnaires:

REG: Cyclists have bled us white, the bastards. They don’t pay road tax, they run
red lights. And what have they ever given us in return?
XERXES: Pneumatic tyres.
REG: What?
XERXES: Pneumatic tyres.
REG: Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that’s true. Yeah.
COMMANDO #3: And ball bearings.
REG: Yeah. All right! I’ll grant you pneumatic tyres and ball bearings are two
things that the cyclists have done.
MATTHIAS: And the roads.
REG: Well, yeah. Obviously the roads! I mean, the roads go without saying, don’t
they? But apart from pneumatic tyres, ball bearings, and the roads…
COMMANDO: Lightweight steel tubing.
XERXES: Chain driven differential gears.
COMMANDO #2: Dust-free highways. Tractors. Automobile advertising.
COMMANDOS: Ohh…
REG: Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.
COMMANDO #1: And Central Government administration of roads.
COMMANDOS: Oh, yes. Yeah…
FRANCIS: Cars and planes.
REG: Cars and planes?
FRANCIS: Yeah, America’s first car was built by the Duryea brothers: they were
bicycle builders first. And powered flight, Reg. That was developed by the Wright
Brothers: they owned a bike shop and built bikes.
REG: All right, but apart from the pneumatic tyres, ball bearings, differential
gears, roads, motoring, car ads, and aviation, what have cyclists ever done for us?

(With acknowledgement to Handmade Films)